Why we have no choice but to legalize recreational cocaine
Make no mistake. This is fiction. All references to actual persons, places, or events is purley coincidential.
The perfect high. Perfectly metered out. Pure dopamine.
Cheap and nearly impossible to OD. The size of a gumball. The everlasting fentanyl gopstobber.
Not actualy everlasting, more like 1 to 2 years.
The classic basement start-up story
Turns out it was pretty easy to synthesize. Precursors plus corn syrup and bacon fat. The everlasting effect was achieved by using a huge amount of layered precursors under pressure. But the initial chemical reaction that made it possible was discovered by two poorly educated 34-year-old scumbags in a basement in Middlesex, New Jersey.
They were trying to come up with an inconspicuous way to transport their stash, making it look like a normal piece of candy but one that would keep you high for hours.
Tyler went first. “Wait 15 minutes and if it goes bad and I start to OD, call the fire department. I don’t care. It’s probably better if you drag my corpse out into the lawn, if your fat ass can lift my fat ass up the stairs.”
“Alright, deal. Alexa! Set a timer for 15 minutes!”
The economy takes a hit
Once word spread, it was unstoppable. A huge swell of lethargy and europhia washed over the country, penetrating deep into society through all methods of transportation. The government was enraged and businesses scared. “Everyone’s too high to do anything anymore.”
At some point at least 51% of the population was actively using EFG and more and more every day. About 1/3rd of people were never EFG-ers, who absolutely refused to take it. These people were more prone to use stimulants like cocaine, meth, amphetamines, or at the very least coffee. Experts estimated that these restless speed freaks were responsible for 90% of the country’s economic output, and that the remaining 10% was the EFG trade.
Someone needs to do something about this
“Something has to be done,” they said. Eventually the libertarian Wall Street crowd started to suggest legalizing blow.
The puritanical faction hated the idea. “That’s just pouring gasoline on the fire!” and “Think of the children!”.
Like all ideas from Wall Street, the suggestion was entirely self-serving. Once legal, the addicts would be easier to manage, and the Wall Street people assumed, correctly, that once addicted they could be convinced to do any job to feed their habit, plus the paranoia would make them more obedient.